Enterprisian Revitalization Project

I have nothing to be nostalgic about except Chickensmoothie but ya'll are cool anyway.
It works for me, Tsar. I know I'm kinda new and not really a part of the group but I joined it.

I already rejoined my old cabin since I told them I would back in July but I'm around on Camp NaNo too.

I already have a Camp Cabin, but I will totally join the discord server! (Should I see if Plat wants to join also?)

The more the merrier, so go ahead~

okay... I think I fixed it -_-
^-^

I told Vinder that I'd come back when I was finally someone worth being proud of... admittedly, even if I have made some progress, I might not be at that point yet. But lately, I've been really hyper for some reason, and can't sit still... I'm not sure whether it's excitement, stress, worry, or just what happens when you eat a ton of Halloween candy and then listen to dramatic music like that on the homepage... I have a feeling though that the sooner I say what I need to say to you all, the better. I'll try to keep it short and to the point, so please hear me out.

I do understand that all of us are busy with life, some of us more or less than the rest of us. And I know there are a few of you that, while I don't consider you any less of a friend than the others, have always been aloof, and that's fine. But I am not gullible enough to believe that all six of you are so busy that you could hardly say a word to each other during my absence of nearly six months. Our lack of interaction has to be something more than just being preoccupied.

Hey Kano, Aliria... you two once told me it's really not that impressive that I've found six good humans, because it's normal and there are still plenty more out there waiting to be found. I suppose you're not entirely wrong, since I have found another good human, someone I'd like to consider a friend. But you know, even if there are other good people, and it's now been proven that I'm not completely incapable of making new friends, it doesn't change how I feel about you guys. It doesn't change the fact that I still want us to be close again.

Aforementioned human brought up a good point recently... It was a sensible explanation for all of the friendships I've had that always came to an unwarranted but seemingly inevitable end - People who are popular or make friends easily don't value their friends as much since they can be replaced.  For a while now, I couldn't help but suspect that of being true for many of you. Especially the creator of this thread.

Aliria, I remember when you posted this, you had said that you had trouble with your friends at school, and you wanted us all to start talking again since we were better people. Thank you~ But I haven't neglected to observe that there's another group of friends you've been talking with too. So when TE died again, and you weren't talking to us as much as you had been, I felt like we weren't needed anymore. I don't believe it just yet. So I want you to tell me... are we still important to you too? I apologize if I seem to be calling out you in particular... it's just especially worrisome in your case, since when you started the Revitalization, I was so happy that you apparently had all the same sentiments about TE that I still do.

I'm going to reiterate something... the reason I'm still hung up on getting our group back together isn't because I'm so socially inept that if I lose my current friends, I'll never have anyone else. The reason is because I genuinely care about you guys. You are all unique, and I love you all for different reasons, and even if I meet new people, they will never replace you. Honestly, I remember our conversations better than anything else. Everything before we met and everything after we stopped talking becomes hazy. And I'm not ready to move on when I believe we can all continue making memories. Even if you don't consider it a true friendship because it's online, oh well... whatever you called all of that camaraderie back then, let's continue it.

Now, I shall address the excu- er, reasons you've given me whenever I've brought up this issue before.
"Nothing new to report" - that's impossible. There's always been something new to report... Weird dreams, good songs, two-week-old coleslaw... random everyday things were always enough to strike up a conversation. And to say that we're at a point where we don't need to talk anymore is also something I disagree with. Communication is the essence of any friendship, whether it's verbal, physical, or visual. Just sticking tape on each other and stealing each other's food might be a valid friendship offline, but here we have to give it a bit more effort. Plus, we haven't talked that much in so long that I haven't the foggiest notion what you guys are up to nowadays. Don't you think it would be fun to share all our new interests?

Okay, this is getting long, so I'll try to wrap it up soon. I was thinking the other day, even though I'm always rereading TE and Cerc, and occasionally the X, those aren't the only places we hung around on. We had a lot of memorable convos on CS, Writer's Haven, our Nano cabins and classroom, and even Drax's site, so it just shows that we can have fun no matter where we're at. If you want to stick to discord and not start using this site again, that's fine. This place obviously has a lot of sentimental value and I think it's much more functional, but if it's too old-fashioned then I can adapt and we'll expand the discord.

Lastly, I want to apologize. I was always starting a disagreement over something trivial, flaring up when I should've been more understanding, and causing trouble for all of you. I'm sorry. I'd like to think that I've become more agreeable over the years, so... if you stuck with me when I was such a brat, don't ditch me now that I've become a better person. Or, if you still want to ditch me, at least give me a proper reason. It's just pathetic if I'm obliviously clinging onto a one-sided friendship... which isn't one at all. If friendship is a two-sided coin and takes two people to say it's over with, then it also takes two people for it to exist.

I like T.E. Can't say I check it as often as discord, but I like just having it sitting constantly on my browser... It's good to have you back... I was really worried that this hiatus would take longer.

I have written about six different paragraphs in response to this, and deleted every single one because I cannot find a good way to say the things I want to say. Writing emotional stuff is hard sometimes. I've decided to give up on writing it well and just try to get it out there.

To some degree, you're right that I've moved on and found other friends. That doesn't mean I've replaced you or anything. It doesn't mean I don't care about you or value you. It just means that I'm not very good at reaching out to people, and lately other people have required a bit less stretching to reach.

But you're right that friendship requires two people to exist. Sitting around and waiting for someone else to reach out doesn't work. I've tried it. I shouldn't have waited for you to reach out, but now that you have, I'm going to try to reach back.

I don't think things are going to magically go back to the way they were. I've changed a lot in the last couple years, and I imagine all of you have too. We're going to have to rebuild some stuff from the ground up. That doesn't mean we can't do it. It's going to be difficult, considering all the times we've tried and failed to rebuild before. But I still want to try, and it sounds like I'm not the only one.

This got a little more depressing than I intended. I'm glad you're back. I'm glad you've found another friend too. I want to be friends again and I want to be a better friend than I was before.  

I do love this site, and I would love to continue having conversations here. However, I am a lot better at checking Discord. Maybe we can use both? I'll try to check TE more often, though I'd appreciate it if you send me a Discord notification when I accidentally end up forgetting to check TE for a month and missing important conversations.

That jittery feeling I spoke of did go away after posting that... but now, it's come back... hehe.

I'm glad you two still feel that way. Like I said when this thread was first started, I don't expect things to be exactly as they used to be, but assuming you haven't all done complete 180s and turned into bad people, there's no reason for us to stop being friends. And as for discord, I don't mind it that much anymore. Actually, it'll make it easier when I recruit the new Enterprisian... ^-^

Even if TE has become increasingly quiet, the fact that we're still together at all must mean something. I'm sorry for all the times I tried to give up and abandon you. I won't run away anymore. Because as long as we still care about each other, TE isn't hopeless.

I'll drink to that